The Scientist


The first meeting:

I meet the Scientist at the local rugby pub. He is standing with a casual acquaintance (part of the Irish Mafia that always seems to be propping up the bar). A quick glance at the Scientist tells me three things:

1. He was tall

2. He was new to Lausanne

3. He was passable. And had nice arms.

And so I chat to him. I’m sociable (and shallow) like that.

And we talk. And talk. And talk.

After the rugby, we talk some more. Around me, everyone is getting progressively drunker (the Scientist included) and I am getting progressively more bored with the whole being sober lark.

About half way through the evening, a friend pulls me aside. “How’s it going with the big boy?” he asks. I shrug, non-committally.”A nice guy, funny to be around, good company.” I reply.

“You’ve got competition” he says. Again, a shrug. If another girl wants him, she’s welcome to him. Yes, he’s nice. Yes, he’s quite hot. But jeez, I’ve just met him. I’m not going to straddle him in the middle of the bar, and I certainly have no claim on him.

Sure enough, about 10 minutes later, an American girl joins the group and starts talking to the Scientist. I take the hint. However, suddenly, the Scientist is back talking to me. About 5 minutes pass and a friend of the American comes over. She stands in front of me and drags the Scientist off to her table.

On my own once more, I turn and make conversation with my other friends. And there he is, back again.

“You’re popular this evening” I tease.

“Yeah” he says, looking confused “they wanted to complain to me about some guy that was coming onto them. What am I supposed to do about it?”

I grin.

(As an aside, this is more evidence that fundamentally, men are clueless)

At about 11.30 I decide that being sober sucks. I say goodbye to all and sundry and left the pub. As I leave, American girl’s friends are also leaving. “How’s your friend?” they ask. “Our friend’s really pissed off with you” they continue. “She liked him and you kept blocking her”.

I walk home, smiling.

The second meeting:

“Oh! You’re here again”, he says as I enter the pub. Shows how much he knows – when rugby’s on, I practically live in the pub. “I’m here again” I confirm.

Sitting on opposing tables, eye contact flickers between us. Smiles. Glances. The beginnings of a flirtation – a warmness in my stomach – a rising blush – that contentment I get when I smell freshly baked bread or newly cut grass

“You’re not leaving are you?” he asks “Why don’t you stay with us?”. I don’t need to be asked twice.

We both leave the pub much later with new numbers in our phone.

The third meeting:

“Going out this weekend? Fancy grabbing a bite to eat?” I text.

“Sure, sounds good” comes the reply.

We go, we eat, we walk, we drink, we talk.

It’s 1 o’clock and I make a move to leave. 3 Swiss kisses. More lips than cheek.

The fourth meeting:

The back and forth texting has continued. I ask him round. He declines but maybe another time? Is he going to watch the rugby? Maybe, but he’s playing so he might be late but maybe we’ll see each other later? Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I’m annoyed. So I sulk. I sit on the sofa and sulk. My friends call. Where am I? Stop sulking. Come to the pub.

And so I’m in the pub again. And there he is. There is he with his arms around a small, dark haired girl. He ignores me. I go over and introduce myself to her. She is smiley and lovely. She’s over from Ireland to visit him. He ignores me.

As he leaves, he tries to shake my hand.

The aftermath:

He texts me. Twice.

I ignore him.




(Thanks to Monsieur de la Pérouse for the photo. You can read his travel blog here – be warned, google translate is probably required)

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19 thoughts on “The Scientist

  1. Pikz says:


  2. What a complete and utter f**kwit! Why do people do this? Behave like this like it’s totally acceptable?!

  3. j says:

    Ugh, what a douche!

  4. Well, I don’t really understand men a whole lot more than you do, and have been back and forth wondering whether I am “Liked” (capital L) recently too. In the past I have often concluded that a succession of “maybes” or lots of texting but no actual follow up action, especially after a “date”, is the 21st century way of saying “hmmm, not sure about you. There may be someone else I prefer. Stay over there until I make up my mind”.

    The only thing left to to decide is whether we want to wait around for that to happen. Or, as you did, catch him out and then just ignore their texts.

    • nuttycow says:

      I think that’s an incredibly good way of putting it Jo. With Monopoly, I’ve made the decision to wait around and see what happens. With the Scientist, it was the right decision to ignore him. *le sigh*

  5. I know this blows for you, because, obviously, you are awesome and he is a bit of a misguided fuckwit and we’d all prefer not to feel a “bit done” by somebody evidently not worth our time in the first place (why don’t they have to wear a special hat or something?). BUT, as somebody who dates… a lot… it’s reassuring to know these incidences of confusion are not limited to me but are perhaps universal. I salute you for sharing, as it makes me feel a lot braver about carrying on with carrying on. So, thanks!

    • nuttycow says:

      Hi Laura – thanks for stopping by (I’ve just opened a new tab with your blog on it so expect a raft of inane comments coming your way).

      I certainly don’t think you’re alone when it comes to being confused about people you like. I think it’s part of the process. (but at least it makes good blog fodder). However, without these confusions, we wouldn’t know the right thing when it finally comes along.

      Carry on carrying on. We’ll get there eventually.

  6. Men ARE clueless! I can testify to that! When I think back to all the signs and signals I missed it makes me want to weep for the lost opportunities. What a dope I was. Whoever said that youth is wasted on the young was right.

  7. HC says:

    Whilst sympathetic, has he actually done anything wrong? Or, if so, anything to write him off completely?

    • nuttycow says:

      And here, ladies and gents, is where men and women differ so completely. (Hi HC by the way, lovely to see you back).

      It was implied through his actions that he wanted, if not a relationship, at least *something* with me. As he has a girlfriend, these actions are totally inappropriate. And therefore he’s written off. And, because he’s got a girlfriend, he is written off completely.

      • HC says:

        Aha, I wasn’t sure about the girlfriend status you see. Is that for certain? As a terrible ambassador for all men, I’m all for trying before buying so I can’t begrudge the chap if he is doing the same. If he is in an exclusive relationship however, then file it away for the future. We all make mistakes of the heart after all.

        Nice to be back btw.

  8. Paula says:

    And this is why I hate guys…. and am possibly going to just become a nun or something.

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