Facebook used to be fun.
Facebook used to be about politely stalking chaps you’d met in the bar the night before. Friends of friends of friends, hours could be spent searching for the elusive “James”. Facebook was about scrolling through photo after photo of new friends, old friends, acquaintances, love interests, family. Laughing at inappropriately tagged photos of that time they drank two bottles of Rioja before going on a bouncy castle. Wondering who that tall, thin, tanned brunette is. Clicking on names of good-looking friends they’ve neglected to introduce you to.
Facebook was about seeing how fat your ex-boyfriends are. Facebook was about reassuring yourself that you were better looking than their new wives. Facebook was about finding out that the speccy lad from college who you friend-zoned and lost touch with is now 6’4”, nicely filled out, and has a good job and a cottage in the countryside.
Facebook used to be Pinterest for lazy people. Wedding photos crowded the page, each documenting the minute details which made someone’s special day, special. You didn’t have to be invited (or, in some cases, even know the person) to know that the bride wore cream taffeta with a bouquet of wild flowers. That each guest was gifted with a mini potted plant. The name tags were written in comic sans (so ironic considering they’re both graphic designers!) and the bridesmaids did a little skit documenting how the happy couple met. There are videos of the first dance (“Hil-air-ious! They danced to Agadoo and everyone joined in. Best first dance. Ever”) and close up artistic shots of the bride’s shoes.
Facebook used to be about having to coo over identi-kit wrinkled babies in their “quirky” (and yet, strangely similar to everyone else’s) babygros. It used to be about pretending to be interested that little Max had finally been potty trained (“but wasn’t it funny when he shat all over Sainsbury’s on Sunday? The duty manager was soooo unamused! Oh! My boy’s so funny, he’s going to be a lady-killer when he grows up!!!!”)
Facebook used to be fun.
Facebook is no longer fun.
Like to show respect. Share for a prayer. Tell her she’s beautiful. Post if you’re proud to be two-legged.
Besides the obvious point that I doubt most of the people in these images know, or care, that people are liking them on facebook, it’s the implication that if you skip over these posts, you’re somehow disagreeing with the premise or (in the case of the last one) somehow approving of someone else’s actions.
No, I’m not going to share your photo. This means I wouldn’t stop and save three bears on the side of the road. I am an evil animal-hating person who’s going to straight to hell. In fact, if I saw three bear cubs on the side of the road, because I didn’t like your photo, it means I’d just jam my foot down on the accelerator. Hoorah! Three new hats!
So what if you are 115? I’m not going to like your status. I therefore must dislike all old people. I probably walk around making fun of their wrinkles and pushing them over because they are walking too slowly. I hope you keel over soon. old woman that I don’t know.
Repost something about the military? No. You’re right, this means I don’t care. I have no respect for the armed forces – it’s their job, isn’t it? Fallen heroes? Idiots, more like.
I am not proud to be a mother. I hate all children. Which, incidentally, is the reason I haven’t liked a photo about hanging those convicted of murdering children (despite the fact that one of the men shown in that photo is yet to be convicted of anything)
Facebook used to be fun. Now it’s just a timeline filled with overly sentimental mush or rage-filled, badly spelt diatribes. My screen is a never-ending scroll of people I don’t know, or, because I am apparently insular in my outlook, don’t have a direct impact on my life.
Of course I care about cancer. Of course I care that there are people out there dying. Of course I care that there are people there who are achieving things that I couldn’t even dream of. Of course I care that there are bad people in the world.
I care about all these things but hey, call me crazy, I think there are other ways, more impactful ways, of tackling the problems of the world. They involve funding, they involve hard work, they involve taking action.
There are other ways of making a difference. Few of these include clicking “like” on a webpage.