Facebook used to be fun.
Facebook used to be about politely stalking chaps you’d met in the bar the night before. Friends of friends of friends, hours could be spent searching for the elusive “James”. Facebook was about scrolling through photo after photo of new friends, old friends, acquaintances, love interests, family. Laughing at inappropriately tagged photos of that time they drank two bottles of Rioja before going on a bouncy castle. Wondering who that tall, thin, tanned brunette is. Clicking on names of good-looking friends they’ve neglected to introduce you to.
Facebook was about seeing how fat your ex-boyfriends are. Facebook was about reassuring yourself that you were better looking than their new wives. Facebook was about finding out that the speccy lad from college who you friend-zoned and lost touch with is now 6’4”, nicely filled out, and has a good job and a cottage in the countryside.
Facebook used to be Pinterest for lazy people. Wedding photos crowded the page, each documenting the minute details which made someone’s special day, special. You didn’t have to be invited (or, in some cases, even know the person) to know that the bride wore cream taffeta with a bouquet of wild flowers. That each guest was gifted with a mini potted plant. The name tags were written in comic sans (so ironic considering they’re both graphic designers!) and the bridesmaids did a little skit documenting how the happy couple met. There are videos of the first dance (“Hil-air-ious! They danced to Agadoo and everyone joined in. Best first dance. Ever”) and close up artistic shots of the bride’s shoes.
Facebook used to be about having to coo over identi-kit wrinkled babies in their “quirky” (and yet, strangely similar to everyone else’s) babygros. It used to be about pretending to be interested that little Max had finally been potty trained (“but wasn’t it funny when he shat all over Sainsbury’s on Sunday? The duty manager was soooo unamused! Oh! My boy’s so funny, he’s going to be a lady-killer when he grows up!!!!”)
Facebook used to be fun.
Facebook is no longer fun.
Like to show respect. Share for a prayer. Tell her she’s beautiful. Post if you’re proud to be two-legged.
Besides the obvious point that I doubt most of the people in these images know, or care, that people are liking them on facebook, it’s the implication that if you skip over these posts, you’re somehow disagreeing with the premise or (in the case of the last one) somehow approving of someone else’s actions.
No, I’m not going to share your photo. This means I wouldn’t stop and save three bears on the side of the road. I am an evil animal-hating person who’s going to straight to hell. In fact, if I saw three bear cubs on the side of the road, because I didn’t like your photo, it means I’d just jam my foot down on the accelerator. Hoorah! Three new hats!
So what if you are 115? I’m not going to like your status. I therefore must dislike all old people. I probably walk around making fun of their wrinkles and pushing them over because they are walking too slowly. I hope you keel over soon. old woman that I don’t know.
Repost something about the military? No. You’re right, this means I don’t care. I have no respect for the armed forces – it’s their job, isn’t it? Fallen heroes? Idiots, more like.
I am not proud to be a mother. I hate all children. Which, incidentally, is the reason I haven’t liked a photo about hanging those convicted of murdering children (despite the fact that one of the men shown in that photo is yet to be convicted of anything)
Facebook used to be fun. Now it’s just a timeline filled with overly sentimental mush or rage-filled, badly spelt diatribes. My screen is a never-ending scroll of people I don’t know, or, because I am apparently insular in my outlook, don’t have a direct impact on my life.
Of course I care about cancer. Of course I care that there are people out there dying. Of course I care that there are people there who are achieving things that I couldn’t even dream of. Of course I care that there are bad people in the world.
I care about all these things but hey, call me crazy, I think there are other ways, more impactful ways, of tackling the problems of the world. They involve funding, they involve hard work, they involve taking action.
There are other ways of making a difference. Few of these include clicking “like” on a webpage.
K7JZYUG28ZAY
I think I love you a little bit.
Seriously, though, yes. I agree entirely, and I said much the same thing from a slightly different angle the other day.
Social media is increasingly losing sight of what it was originally for, and it’s getting very tiring. Even Twitter’s glorious simplicity is becoming a platform for table-thumping slacktivism and frequent arguments, and it’s exhausting. Were it not for the fact that Twitter is the primary means through which I stay in touch with my friends (who are scattered all over the world), I would seriously consider unplugging completely. And as for Facebook, well, I barely use it for anything “social” any more, but those awful games that populate it do pay my rent every month so I kind of have to keep that open.
Rest assured you’re not alone in feeling this way, though. Perhaps someone wise will set up a nice quiet little hideyhole somewhere in the corner of the Internet where we can stay away from all this bullshit and use social media for actual, you know, socialising.
Awww – I love you too!
Your post was very interesting – and you’re completely right. FB does seem to have become just another place for marketeers to swipe our data and advertise to us. It’s partly our own fault, of course, but that doesn’t mean that we have to like it!
Excellent. That is all.
Thank you. That is all.
God, I couldn’t agree more. It’s practically a no-go zone.
Sadly, as much as I hate it, I don’t know if I’d be able to cope without laughing at other people’s wedding photos!
Well said! Glad to know I’m not the only person it bothers.
Judging by the comments I’ve had, we’re not in a minority.
I don’t seem to get tat kind of thing on my FB account, but I’m not a huge user.
I allowed my son an account on the proviso he added me as a friend, just so I could check every now and again. You would not believe the amount of stuff similar to what you’ve written about, as well as some pretty unpleasant trades of abuse that goes on amongst early teens.
He’s trimmed down his friend list and doesn’t use it that often.
It’s all too, well, big I think.
Kids on facebook scare me. As Pete’s post (see link above) said, there’s so much pressure on young kids to have more friends that their friends do that they add *anyone*. That coupled with the amount of information some people make public. Well…
Thank you for this! You’re speaking straight from my heart! (Well, the tiny little part of my heart that cares deeply about facebook)
I’m tempted to send it to all the 13 year olds in my family (too many) and try to make them read it. But then I guess they’re kind of excused their idiocy, since they’re only 13. Hmm…
Do you think it would spoil the point if I posted a link to this on facebook?
Hahaha – feel free…
But make sure you do it in an ironic way
I tried to be witty, but I don’t think it was quite up to scratch. Close enough for me though:
“If you like this post, baby kangaroos will be saved from being sat on by a blind elephant”
Brilliant! You have said everything that I have been thinking the last bit.
Glad to be of service
I’ve never seen any of that stuff, but then I’m an anti-social bastard!
Mawkishness is the reason I don’t watch ITV or Sky – if I wanted to interact with the general public I’d go into town, otherwise I’d rather have professionals making high quality drama and documentaries.
I can’t help but feel a good 90% of this stuff is probably a 4chan troll, doing it for the lolz on teh interwebz…..
You’re so down wid da kidz MoaMMG
The reason you don’t want ITV or Sky is because you’re a snob (like all the best people). If you substituted ITV/Sky with ITV2/5, then I’d take your point.
But looking at it from a wider perspective, you’re right, there seems to be a trend towards mawkishness (I love that word) and collective grief at events. I don’t think this is a healthy trend.
Damn right I’m a snob – I’m named after a Gilbert and Sullivan song…
Here comes the backlash. It’s about time. I don’t have a facebook page. I don’t need no sttinkin’ website to remind me of how few actual friends I have.
Now this is a lie – I happen to know you have heaps of friends. I still love facebook in some ways but yes, maybe this is the beginning of the end?
We can only hope. My heart’s desire is for Facebook to fall out of favour before my daughters become old enough to get sucked in. Is that too negative?
I dont go on FB but I agree with everything you say re. public declarations of this and that. It’s all very boring …
This. A hundred times over.
All the reasons outlined in your post, coupled with the fact my boss tried to add me on facebook led to me deleting my account. I feel very smug but do occasionally have that fear of missing out. I think generally though it was the best decision I ever made (regarding social media) and I am sure Zuckerberg really misses me, so that is some comfort!
You are SOOO right. I also include the whole “Share the color of your bra strap to make awareness of breast cancer” business.
I was also wondering the other day where all this stuff has come from, I hate to say but I think it’s certain types of people…..alot of the younger and older people who use facebook who think that a ‘like’ is going to save someone or something.
It’s odd that it’s changed from stalkerbook to trying to show you really care about things which actually these people probably don’t…. I doubt they donate to charities who support these causes.
I guess my Facebook experience is a lot different to yours. I only go there to discuss politics, philosophy and theology with educated people, though occasionally I share photos of cute kittens and the like.