“So where do you see yourself in 5 years time?”
I hesitate. Is this really the time to bring up “the plan”? At my end of year evaluation?
“er… well…” I hesitate. “…obviously, I’d still like to be here and er…” I bluster on, telling them the things that they think they want to hear. Long term targets and promotions. Skills and development. I almost convince myself.
It’s not until later in the pub, over a deep red wine, snug from the cold outside, that I bring myself to admit it to myself, and to others.
I don’t want that. I don’t want to be a career woman. I don’t want to come home to a cold house at 10 o’clock at night, heat something up in the microwave and collapse on the sofa for half an hour’s worth of soaps before I go to bed. Only for it all to start again tomorrow. I’ve never wanted that. I’m not cut out for it.
What do I want? What do I hope for?
To misquote the fabulous Elizabeth Bennett “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a husband.”
So yes, that’s it, the big secret. What do I want? To fall in love, to be married and to live in domestic bliss somewhere in the countryside. I want dogs, I want long walks, I want a local pub, I want friends to lunch with, I want giggly evenings over red wine. In short, I want what my mother has.
The career thing. Meh. Not so much.
I mean sure, I know I’ll do *something* with my time (knowing this hyperactive brain of mine, I think I’d be stupidly bored otherwise) but, for the most part, I’m just not cut out for the life of a big, bad corporate.
I know I’m not alone in this dream and these thoughts. I’ve talked about to a number of my girlfriends (most recently Mud) and we’re all of the same mind. There’s something much more to life than work. The problem is how to balance the two?
On the one hand, there’s the short term, the now. I need to progress my career as far as I can now (otherwise, how am I to become in possession of a good fortune?). But if the career is plan B, how do you go about pursuing plan A without turning into an odd bridezilla wannabe?
Short answer, I don’t know.
Long answer, I don’t know.
So where does that leave me? No where really, stoic in the knowledge that what will be, will be.
The best laid scheme of mice and men and all that…
This post is part of Hope’s 30 days of truth series.
Part 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Part 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Part 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for
It’s almost taboo to admit it now, isn’t it, but I can totally see the appeal…
It really shouldn’t be though. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a career. At least, I don’t think so. Much like University isn’t for everyone, neither should having a career. (That’s not to say I agree with just letting people get away with not working and living off the state, no. If I were to quit work, I’d ensure that I had income from somewhere. But then, I suppose, I’m one of the lucky ones eh?)
I’m with you on this totally. I’m not interested in being a ridiculously successful businesswoman. I want to meet someone nice, fall in love, get a little house and spawn a mini-me or two (although I don’t always admit to that). I want to keep a part-time job going to keep me sane and get me out of the house and a welcome change to goo goo chatter.
My sister lives in a village near a country town. She works as an admin assistant. She has a nice husband, a collie dog and a rabbit that lives in a hutch in the garden. They have a country cottage and grow their own veg sometimes.
I tell myself that I have a better life because I earn more but I’m not really convinced.
Truth be known, I’ve been Googling “property for sale on Ko Samui” all morning.
Money isn’t everything. Sometimes, I prefer to have less money and more freedom (that said, I know that currently I’m working on saving the money to have more freedom. Vicious cycle)
I want that too…. I have fat chance.
Why fat chance? Everyone has the opportunity to get what they want.
I’m one of the lucky ones in that I really love my job and coming to work everyday. I hope to always be working because of the fulfillment I get out of it. I guess I am your typical corporate 9-to-5er.
It’s not that I hate my job, I don’t. I really enjoy it. It’s just that… I don’t want to have to work forever.
Live to Work, or Work to Live?
I never really know how to respond to things like this. Do I be a smug married? Do I address comments on here to you (which would be superfluous) or to the wider world?
More to the point, get your leader to implement Married Tax Breaks – it might make me think (slightly) more of him then…..
I work to live MoaMMG, you know that. And you are a complete smug married, and I hate that about you. Only because I’m envious of course – looking in from the outside always tends to make things look rosy – I’m sure it’s not all roses. Plus, I know you’ve worked for it.
I would quite happily have less money and less responsibility – but my wife is living Soupy’s dream, and that means I need to drag my arse into an office every morning to pay for it all.
And that, my friend, is why you’re a good husband
Of course, you don’t “drag yourself into an office every morning” to be adored as a progressive social media guru…
Or to look at the AEs in their little skirts…
Of course he doesn’t
Totally with you, girl! I don’t like it when someone asks me that question (unless they’re really close to me). I feel like I’m being a sell out when I say that I want to be a wife and mother. I know I shouldn’t, but the feelings are there.
I do have a plan B (which does not include staying at my current job forever!), but I’m still holding out for plan A…
I don’t think we’re being a sell out for wanting what will make us happy! Go for the dream!
I love my job (I should, I’ve only been in it for 4 weeks) and I have visions of my career progressing as well as the drive to make sure I go places… but Plan A is so appealing!
This is why, I assume, I have always been attracted to men who are going places with their careers. One day, they might be able to afford me and my Plan A?
I think we’re all on the look out for that man! If you find him, let me know if he has a brother, eh?
I had my career up to the age of 40 and then had Kay. I was not ashamed to say I wanted to stay at home and enjoy every minute of motherhood. Some people looked at me (and still do) as if I had two heads. The way I see it, everyone is an individual. If you want a career, that’s OK, but if you want something else, that’s OK too. There’s no written law that says you have to do one or the other. Luckily we girls have a choice nowadays.
We are lucky Addy, you’re right. I just don’t think that because we now have the opportunity to have careers and progress, we should feel ashamed if we don’t want to!
I hate the “what do you want to do” question. Absolutely hate it. I see it coming a mile away and I never have an acceptable answer for it. You think I’d have one well rehearsed by now.
I don’t think anyone has a “right” answer for this question. It was much easier when we were kids and we could say anything from “fireman” to “ballerina”. Now, we’re expected to have sensible answers. Dammit.
Ah ha! Yes, our conversation last week. Soooo with you. It is funny – I got a promotion at work on Friday and although obviously I’m pleased, I wasn’t over the moon. Then I had lunch today with an old Uni friend who happens to have just moved to Singapore, married and be 8 months pregnant. That just reiterated what I already knew – that’s what I want, not the Big Career….
One day maybe?
Congratulations on the promotion! That’s great news. Keep on working at what you’ve got… the other stuff will fall into place.
I hate the five-year question because I have no answer to it. Like you, I think this career business is for the birds.
And here we are, supposed to be Modern Gals one and all, eh?
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