The crush and I used to speak every day – either through text, email, phone calls or, the expat’s friend – Skype (username: nuttycow by the way).
It was stable, sure and reliable. I knew I’d wake up in the morning to a message, something to make me smile, laugh or roll my eyes. I was confident in the thought that, if I ever felt down, I could just grab my phone and there’d be someone there on the other end to cheer me up.
That is, until a couple of weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago, all contact stopped.
No text messages. No emails. No skype conversations.
Nada. Radio silence.
And I know, it’s not that unusual to get these sudden silences when communicating with a member of the forces. Circumstances can change overnight, locations move, ability to keep in touch is sometimes difficult. It’s happened before. But normally, within a couple of days (or at least within 2 weeks) there’s something – a short note to say he’s ok, to say where he is, what he’s up to.
There’s never been this before. This complete…vacuum. Not a peep. A deleted facebook account (which strikes me as completely odd) Unacknowledged emails. Unanswered text messages.
Hmmm.
It occurs to me that one of several things could have happened:
- he’s been sent out to War Zone again and is too busy saving lives and flying helicopters to get in touch (likely)
- he’s still where he was but all communications have been shut down (less likely)
- his family have made him marry a mail-order bride and she has demanded all his contact with the outside world cease (even less likely)
- he was a figment of my imagination (increasingly possible)
- he was a con-man and, once he realised I had no money, decided to break all contact*. He’s currently pursuing a rich heiress in Essex (hmmm)
- he realised he could never make it work with me and is currently undertaking his orders to become a Trappist monk (he’s only human after all)
- he’s quit his job and is, as we speak, swimming across the Atlantic in order to find me (bordering on weirdo fantasy land)
So over to you. Realistic and not so realistic reasons for the disappearance of my crush please.
*here’s one for you, fact fans: for about 4 months into my relationship with N, I was absolutely, hand-on-heart, convinced he was a con-man after my money. I did tell him, several times, that I had none and so his efforts were futile. For some reason, he didn’t cart me off to the nearest padded cell but continued to put up with my madness for another 4 years.
Since he’s not in asia, he’s really unlikely to be forced into a mail-order marriage. An arranged marriage seems possible – but I assume people based in US don’t do much of that.
Maybe he was stalked by someone, had to disappear in a big hurry and didn’t manage to inform all his contacts?
You’re not suggesting that stalker was me, are you?!
He’s only based in the US temporarily. Even when in the UK, I doubt an arranged marriage is likely – although maybe his parents got wind of our technology based flirtation and ordered him to marry that nice girl next door.
I’m reluctant to even approach this subject, but how about he met someone and is spending his every waking moment in the obsessive haze you’re in when you first meet someone you’re attracted to? I’m sorry but it’s possible.
Oh yeah, I know that’s out there.
I’m just ignoring it because, c’mon, who out there is as awesome as me?
(I’m joking of course. It could be that he’s fallen in love with one of his fellow military types, has had to leave and is now living in a commune in the Outer Hebrides).
I became convinced on the way to work this morning that the other half of the long distance relationship I am in is in fact seeing other women on the weekends I don’t see him. And that he only really has the kids once a month but continues to tweet about them on those weekends to maintain his cover…
May need to curb my imagination a bit more…
Haha – isn’t it funny the way our minds work sometimes.
I always think that men flirt with me because they’ve got a bet on. Hang on a second… maybe that’s not just… oh never mind…
He’s hiding under my bed.
How didn’t I realise you were somewhere involved Miss Mud! Should have known!
Can I have him back please?
He has recently undergone a sex change and is working up the courage to ask you to call him Martha from now on.
And, presumably, turn into a lesbian.
Going into a war zone will make you delete your FB account? Weird.
Well you see, that’s why I think the FB thing is *particularly* weird. He never deleted it on previous jollies, why delete it now.
I personally believe he was a figment of my imagination and I was making it all up. This is a scary thought
There’s a whole host of reasons why he would delete his FB account, and not get in contact. From the top of my head, I could produce 4 or 5 – indeed, I remove a huge amount of stuff from FB when I go East of Suez on the advice of our security peeps.
Just roll with it, it’ll work itself out; the longest I’ve been without contacting N (my wife!) is about 4 weeks, and that wasn’t even a *proper* war!!
You see, I knew I could rely on you
I know it’s me worrying too much but I just want to know what’s happened to him, if he’s ok. *rolls eyes* I’m useless. I’ll never make an army wife at this rate!
Well, do you have predilection for Ron Hill Tracksters and White Stilettos? If so, you could be an ideal Army wife…..
I meant proper Army wife and you know it.
Can you see my mother in white stilettos?!
Erm, no.
But lets be honest, she scares me nearly as much as your father.
Anyway, Army types are all a bit, well, smelly. And thick. And they get shot at (see point 2). Where’s we just enjoy good, honest buggery and rum……
I’d got with #6
You’re too kind
My guess would be that the crush has gone on an army communications training and is currently failing the course
or he has gone deep undercover and is currently using his traditional skills to flatten cans, cars and other crushable items to save the planet……
Both very plausible suggestions BlackLOG. He doesn’t strike me as the hippy type though so maybe the second one is a little far-fetched.
Still no word from him? Hmm. Are you sure he hasnt gone just a teensy bit Martha?
Martha? You’ll have to explain the cultural reference for me
Sorry Nutty!
Was just following on from my earlier comment, i.e. “He has recently undergone a sex change and is working up the courage to ask you to call him Martha from now on.”
Hope all clear
(and hope the crush gets in touch soon)
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