Ok, you’re just going to have to bear with me, I’m having a sudden flash of pathetico.
Having gone out over the weekend several things occur to me:
1.
I’ll never ever ever have a man ever ever again. All the men here seem to a) be married b) be with girlfriends or c) have the worst dress sense I’ve ever seen (leather jacket with white shirt with mirrored collar anyone? Or, as I saw in the pub on Saturday, a rather charming yellow leather baseball cap teamed with a yellow, orange and red checked shirt)
Now, unless I break up all the perfectly happy relationships that surround me/go Trinny and Susanna on Switzerland’s arse these are all unassailable mountains.
2.
I’m yet to find any actual friends. Now, this could be because I can’t see past the fantastically retro style of clothing and it could be because I’m still having issues with the language, but, at the moment, I’m pretty much friendless. Sure, I was out over the weekend, but these kids are 6 years younger than me and sometimes, I feel it. (par example one was writing in a mother’s day card and she wrote “your the best [...]” and “don’t dought that [...] or similar – I had to restrain myself from getting out a red pen).
They are lovely and they’ve offered me their friendship and help while I’ve been here – I’m grateful for that. But sometimes I just want someone my own age. Who can spell. And doesn’t mind me being a grammar Nazi (or that I go against my own rules when writing in my blog and start sentences with “but” and “and”)
This is going to change. I’m going to make it change (here comes the mantra which I seem to be repeated 19 times a day at the moment) after I get settled into the new house (everything seems to revolve around this house thing at the moment – contract being signed tomorrow thank God).
Alright, alright. I’ll man the fuck up now.
Do Trinny and Susanna. Questioning quite a few married women they have had to do that.
Oh and younger people have older siblings like older people have younger siblings. So for every person you meet try and meet their entire family.
Now pull your socks up!
I know, I know.
I am allowed to have a pathetic moment once in a while though, right?
Dude i live in Liverpool, the dress sense here makes yellow baseball caps and mirrored lapels sound good!
Seriously though you’ve only been there 2 weeks it takes longer than that to make friends at Primary school where you like EVERYONE
I know, I know.
I’m just … one of those people who wants everything to be ok NOW.
As LizSara says: you’ve been there two weeks. The friends’ll come. x
I hope that’s a hint that you’ll come and visit me!
Hang in there – experience shows that chaps always turn up when least expected. Euro-trash fashion is a no-no, are there no young architects who could show you around the city (or indeed any young professional)?!
Anyway, I expect more from you – man the fuck up, go get hideously drunk and let us live your life vicariously….
mmmg
MMMG – I am yet to find any young professionals. I’ve met plenty of old ones and a couple from the oldest one, but no young ‘uns. Rugby club this weekend however, you never know, I might get lucky.
“the oldest one” – you’ve met spies already?!
A ha ha ha.
Yes, the “spies” who hang around my local red light district.
Just give it time. You will find both a man and friends. I have the ‘I’ll never find a man again’ fear and I live in Manchester where the boys are pretty and (mostly) gay.
Could you not just become a fag hag and attempt to turn them all?
To be honest, I’m not that bothered about the man (it makes me sound all desperate and needy if I say I am) but I am that bothered about the friends. As any of my “real life” friends would tell you… I crave people around me!
I be your frend!
Thanks B – sadly, you’re a little far away for me to call up and persuade to go to the pub!
Starting over like you are doing is stressful and tough. You are certainly allowed to have a good whine! Just remember, it takes guts to do what you are doing!
Thank you – coming from one of the gutsiest women I know, that is a huge compliment.
I don’t think you’re being pathetic at all! You have made a very brave decision to move to a new place and it’s early days yet – it will all fall into place, I’m sure of it.
Although I would have been forcing myself not to use red pen on that card too…
Good luck!
I think she also spelt “although” as “altho”. But don’t get me started, it will lead me into a rant about the youth today and how when I was young we were taught how to spell. And then, in my anger, I would promptly mis-spell something.
But you are OK – perhaps not great, but definiately OK and being great will come with time.
You are definitely allowed a wobble, in fact youll prolly have a couple more but as long as you recognise it as a wobble and then man the fuck up (cupcake), you’ll be more than fine before you know it.
Hey Kerry – welcome to the blog… I think this is your first comment here. Thank you. And yes, I need to man the fuck up, I know. Goodness knows what the rugby girls would think if they knew I was being such a pussy.
Mirrored collar? Get in!
Do you know what you need? A toughen up pill.
(Oh how that line is no longer amusing after 3yrs with the army)
You’ll be fine
The mirrored collar was a sight to behold. As was the black shirt with the “jewels” pasted on the front.
I was going to tell you that I left New York for the suburbs of New Jersey eight years ago and have made some nice acquaintances, but no real friends, but I decided it would be selfish to deflect your angst against mine.
Nooooooo UB, don’t tell me that! I’m sure you do have some real friends. I can’t see why anyone would settle for being just an aquaintance of yours.
Oh yes, been there and got the t-shirt! All the men in Singapore are coupled up as well [do you know, I'm starting to think that has more to do with the fact I'm in my 30s now than the country I'm in!]. There is the added plus that my man-pool is limited to the smaller ex-pat population (not racist, but petite Asian men don’t do it for me).
Ho hum. But you never know what’s around the corner….
Early days, take time to take it slowly and not rush into friendship-desperation stage. It will all come!
Petite Asian men don’t do it for me either Mud, don’t worry. It’s difficult when you’re working with a small expat community, isn’t it? Everyone has baggage and history and “don’t go near so-and-so, he’s a real whatsit”.
And no, I won’t rush. I’ll sit here spilling my guts to the internet instead. Saddo that I am!
Aww it was bound to be tough at first. It will work out. You haven’t met half the population yet
I’m working on it!
Good luck NC. I spent a few weeks in Switzerland a year or ten back. I liked the place, but I wasn’t looking for a man (or a woman, for that matter). However, speaking as someone who could never be accused of being a fashion victim, I do wonder whether you’re allowing the “mirrored lapel” and other sartorial aberrations to blind you to the qualities that might lie beneath. Beauty may be skin deep, but it’s surely deeper than the clothes above.
You are probably right RW. However, the mirrored lapels do put me off a bit. For a start, they’re so bright I can’t see the face of the person I’m talking to!
See, there was me thinking Switzerland was all straight laced, then you go and drop in about the mirrored colour and flashing buttons and all that.
If nothing else, take some photos and unleash your inner “WHAT HAVE YOU COME AS”.
I wish I had seen that mirrored collar.
Not only could you have seen the mirrored collar but you would have also seen yourself reflected, such was the shineyness of its wonder!
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