“Oh come on,” Blonde cajoles. “Just think, if it all goes horribly wrong, at least we can make a blog post out of it.”
My foray into the murky world of singledom has, thus far, not been exceptionally successful. On doing a quick tally this morning, I find the average age of people looking at my dubious profile is 38. Considering I’m looking for men from 28 – 35, I don’t think I’m really hitting the mark.
As sure as I am that “ash” the 76 year old, 5’7” widow is a lovely guy I’m not sure I’m right for him. He’s looking for someone who “enjoys dressing up when required” and “likes to go to Dinner Dances”. I don’t think jeans is going to cut it. However, I am “a good Driver” and “as an extra bonus” I can “drive on the Continent”. What makes me feel a little sad is that fact that the poor man has been alone for 13 months and his son has told him “it’s time to move on”. Harsh.
However, I persevere. And this is why it comes to pass that Blonde and I are going speed-dating (or, as the organisers put it “slow” dating – you get a whole 4 minutes per date) next week.
And now over to you, dear readers. What the hell am I going to say?
Fuck. That puts me outside your age limits.
I’d always make an exception for you. Of course!
I’m sorry I missed out on the speed dating movement. I think I can put together a pretty good pitch and I might have done well. Don’t stress about it, my dear. You’ll find someone but it’s going to take time. Enjoy the ride. And, yes, it will make for some interesting posts/memories.
You’re right. An interesting evening…
I’m so far outside your limits as to be entirely cringe-worthy, but I’m also happily married. I can’t give you any advice on the speed-dating front – the very thought of it gives me the conniptions. However, I would say don’t stress – everyone else will be nervous as hell too!
You’d be surprised. There were a couple of “regulars” there who didn’t seem nervous at all. Odd.
I look forward to reading all about that.
What if you both like the same bloke?
I somehow think that was unlikely judging by the calibre.
How about: Hello, my name is Nutty. You have four minutes to convince me that you’re the one I’m looking for *clutches stopwatch*… GO!
Too harsh?
I don’t think I’d like to know what the response to that would have been!
I’m too young for you too.
But if you WERE going for someone my age, I would probably say something along the lines of ‘Did you know that women around my age are just reaching the peak of their sexual maturity and need servicing multiple times each and every evening?’
‘Oh, I also like dressing up.’
Good luck…
A mere baby
I think, had I taken you up on your suggestions, I would have had a number of ticks.
Ah amazing! I want to go speed dating (but the boyfriend kind of gets in the way)!
What if you and Blonde both end up wanting the same man/men??
You should go just for the hell of is R – it’s not like you’re going to find anyone worthwhile there!
Funny. 30 to 40 is my range and I keep getting 55 year olds. My dad is 56. Awesome. I am also giving speed dating a crack soon! God help us.
C – good luck. I’m sure you’ll have fun, even if you don’t find anyone worthwhile.
I wish someone had told me to “dress when appropriate”
Ah hang on. That’s not what you said
Eejit.
I wouldn’t take the average age of male admirers personally. Middle aged men all have a fantasy of ending up with a 20-something. When it doesn’t happen they eventally move on to someone who makes more sense for them. They may also be more driven to find someone than a younger man who feels he has all the time in the world. Hence their aggressive dominance in online dating scenarios.
Getting upset about male attention that isn’t from your target demographic is wasted energy – kind of like getting upset at cat calls, stares, and any other kind of unwanted male attention. It is a product of being an attractive woman, something we deal with across the entire lifespan. For men, hope springs eternal.
Dee – a very sensible reply to not a very sensible post. I don’t take it too seriously. It’s sort of flattering of course though, as you say.