Housetrained 27 year old seeks room

Trawling through gumtree ads. Not something I thought I’d have to do anytime soon. I notice that they’re always full of euphemisms, hiding true personalities and flaws.

  • “open minded” – swingers
  • “artistic” or “creative” – smoke too much pot and liable to paint your room at a moment’s notice
  • “cosy” - a small mouse would find it snug
  • “sociable” – 3 o’clock in the morning, every morning, singing outside your door
  • “antipodean” – new housemates every month, 13 people sleeping in one room
  • “close to local transport” – house situated on the railway line
  • “short walk to local transport” – 20 minutes up and down hills
  • “furnished” – previous tenant left all their rubbish behind, stained mattress included
  • “great outdoor space for BBQs” – we’ve never had a BBQ, we don’t have the friends, will you bring some with you?
  • “cats” – lesbians/terminanally single

*sigh* am I getting cynical?

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0 Responses to Housetrained 27 year old seeks room

  1. Rog says:

    No but you’re remarkably hanging on to that wicked sense of humour. Very good Nutty. I hope you stumble upon Brad Pitt letting a room with a view to look after whilst he’s occupied in the States.

  2. teabelly says:

    Not cynical, perhaps just realistic. I’m so sorry you have to go through all this, and if I hear about a room going I will let you know.

  3. I’ll tell you what you are getting: damn funny!

  4. ExpatKat says:

    Yup You’re realistic Nutty and you’ve learned to read beyond the small print, a very useful talent.

  5. Rafiki says:

    I would go for the great outdoor space and take a goat and do some choma.

  6. LiLu says:

    Ahhh, the apartment search… it is a bear. Best of luck, my dear!

  7. blaez says:

    if u weren’t across an ocean i’d offer you our spare room.

  8. Mud says:

    Keep strong and keep up the humour! Gum Tree can be a nightmare, but there are some gems out there. I once found a flatshare on http://www.easyroommate.com – not that that website sounds dodgy at all…!

  9. smidge says:

    Hello, you could also try

    http://spareroom.co.uk or LetaLife.com

    But i recently just used gumtree which worked for me. Try putting a wanted advert up as well so people can contact you.

    Good luck. Its a stressful time, if you were up here you could have had my spare room! x

  10. nuttycow says:

    All – again I’m being horribly lazy and not responding to your individual comments – house hunt is (thankfully) on hold for the moment. I think I’ve got a place to live for a couple of weeks at least and so I don’t have to get out there just yet. There are some lovely places out there (and blimey, they cost a lot!) so I’m sure I’ll find something soon.

  11. Jo says:

    Yeah! Sod ‘ open minded’

    I know what that means, you filth mongers.

  12. The Wife says:

    Yes you may be getting cynical….

    but thanks! That is hilarious!

  13. yourownpersonalmonster says:

    L0L!
    openminded- swingers. ;D

    this made my day.
    not the fact that you can’t find someone to take you in; but your very true definitions, if you will, were quite funny(:

  14. UrbanVox says:

    should I take it the search is not going very well then????

  15. Brennig says:

    BTW, if you’re still looking for accommodation let me know. This customer has a massive intranet with adverts that include that category. I’d be happy to copy and paste stuff to you.

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