How to give a good dinner party

I love having friends round. I love being the hostess. Good food. Plenty of wine. Conversation. Laughter. General tomfoolery.

I hate washing up.

This weekend, my house is playing host to a “bring a dish” dinner party (does what it says on the tin). Last night I had an impromptu event with five of us round the table. Later in the year, 15 people will be crammed into my sitting room round a myriad of different tables and chairs, clashing elbows and tucking into a pre-Christmas Christmas supper.

So, in a break from the norm (and why the hell not?) I thought I’d give you my thoughts on how to make sure a dinner party works (or at least, if it doesn’t work, is still fun). None of it’s exactly rocket science.

Plan ahead:

Think about what you want to do. Make sure you’re sure on everything before you start getting excited about food and people and how much fun you’re going to have. The dinner party should look effortless. This will only happen if you plan it to the nth degree. Sorry.*

• What date are you going to hold it on?
• Is there a special point to the evening?
• What kind of people do you want there?
• How many people?
• What kind of food is it going to be?

Date:

Be sensible. Dinner parties on a school night are fine if you know you’re not going to drink too much. Holding them on a Friday is fine but you want to give yourself time to prepare before the guests arrive – do you have time after work to get everything sorted? Saturdays are generally the best bet. Not a revelation.

Invites & numbers:

Depending on the formality of your event, you can rely on spoken or emailed invites rather than more formal “at home” invitations. The most important thing is giving people time. You have to take into account:

• the time of year (are lots of people going to be away? Is it school holidays?) 
• the type of people you are inviting (are they likely to come back to you quickly? Do they regularly drop out of social engagements – if the answer to the latter question is yes I would recommend you get new friends!)
• the type of event you’re holding (for casual suppers then a week will do, for something more formal, think in months)

For example, for our Christmas party, I have given people 2 months notice. Partly because of the time of year, and partly because, if people can’t make it, I want to give “reserves” enough time to respond.

This brings me onto my next point. Whatever kind of event you’re having, you should always have a list of reserves (don’t tell them that of course!) who can be invited if someone else drops out. A first and a second team if you will. Inviting someone the day before the dinner party if, of course, just plain rude. Don’t do it – they’ll know you’re only trying to make up numbers and there’s nothing more disheartening than that.

Be sure to make it clear on the invite what kind of event it is. Smart? Casual? Themed? Tell people what time to arrive and what time they’ll be eating.

Food:

Finger food? Sit down meal? Kitchen sups? Cold? Hot? Vegetarian? So many options. So many chances to mess up!

My general rule of thumb is stun with simplicity.

A simple starter, kick arse main course, and cleansing pudding followed by cheese and fruit will work wonders. Try and match your menu to the season. How about this for a summer menu:

• Gazpacho
• Salmon fillets baked with ginger, lime and garlic served with a dollop of creme fraiche and salad
• Strawberries with basil and lemon
• Cheese course

Total time in the kitchen? About an hour and a half all in.

Never cook something for the first time 2 hours before your guests arrive. It’ll go wrong. If you want to try something new, make sure you practice it first.

Drink:

You don’t have to be a wine connoisseur to know that red meats and red wine generally go together. White meats (and fish) go with white.

If you’re not sure on what wine to go for, either ask someone who knows (go into a wine shop and ask for their advice) or, if you can’t do that, stick to the basics. A dry white (such as a Pinot Grigio or the slightly sweeter Muscadet) and a full bodied red (you can’t go much wrong with Chilean red or a Spanish Rioja).

Before the guests arrive:

• Write out a brief time plan on what food needs to go in when etc
• Clean the house – seriously. How would you like to eat in a rubbish dump – that means dust, hoover, move that big pile of stuff from under the sofa, polish the table, make sure you’re cutlery and crockery is clean, scrub the loo, the bath… everything.
• Lay the table – knives, forks, spoons, napkins, placemats, glasses, candles, chairs?
• Get the music going – it always puts you in the right mood.
• Do as much cooking and preparing as you can. This means you’re not stuck in the kitchen all evening, leaving your guests to fend for themselves.
• Wash up as you go along – this will make the aftermath much easier.
• Give yourself time to get prepared – about an hour or so before the guests arrive, get ready yourself. You don’t want them turning up to you with hair still in rollers (or in your boxers I suppose boys)

Once the guests arrive:

Relax. Have fun. There’s nothing you can do about it now.

The aftermath:

Ideally, you’ll be able to leave this to someone else. After all, you did do all the cooking and planning. If not, do it in one big blitz. Clean out the dining room/sitting room into the kitchen. Get some good tunes on, open the windows and wash, scrub, clean. It won’t take you as long as you think.

What about you? Do you have any tips to share with the internet public?

*Having said that of course, there are always the exceptions. Some of my very best dinner parties have been completely off the cuff.