Just got off the phone with the devil.
They want money from me. Again.
We renewed our contract on chez nutty at the end of May. Having successfully managed to wangle ourselves no increase in rent, we were happy.
And then. *plop* through the door comes a very serious and important looking document, addressed to both of us, using our fullest of full names [I find that letters that use your fullest of full names and invariably from wankers].
Dear nutty gertrude amelia cecily cow,
You owe us £117.50
Hugs and kisses,
Evil estate agents
Well. What do I say to that. I wrote back:
Dear evil estate agents,
Why do you want so much money? Surely, you can’t be suggesting that the tippexing out of a date, changing it and photocopying the result is worth £100. It would take a temp earning £5 an hour 20 hours to complete that. Even you, crap useless people, can’t employ temps that slow?
Please send me an itemised bill.
They’ve just called me to say they can’t itemise the bill. “Well,” quoth I, “what’s the charge for?”. “Er..” said Candice (or whatever her name was) “it’s for the renewal of the contract and admin.”
“The admin of renewing the contract”
“Yes, but what admin did you do, during the renewal of the contract (which may I remind you needed no negotiation) that cost me £100”
“It’s just how much we charge”
“Yes but what’s it for?”
“The renewal of the contract”
More reasons estate agents are spawn of satan:
- They drive those stupid minis or VW bugs or ANother car thinking they’re the dogs when actually, they just look like people driving a work car with pride.
- They steal all the resident parking places near their office.
- The men, invariably, wear ties which are a) a stupid colour b) have cartoon characters on them or c) pulled down slightly from the collar and on a shirt with the top button undone.
- They think that they’re your best friends and that we should be pathetically grateful to them for finding us some hell hole in the back end of nowhere.
- They put all the qualifications they have ever achieved on their business card.