Parlez-vous moo?

ExPatKat over at The Pea Green Boat has “tagged” me.

At first, I thought this might be a reference to my lovely bovine rear but apparently it means I have to answer some questions and then pass it on. Kind of like one of those notes you used to pass round in Biology listing the boys you most fancied and why with marks out of 10. Well, here goes.

What was I doing ten years ago?

10 years ago I was 16. It was 1998 and I was in my GCSE year at school in Kenya. My days were spent swimming, gossiping and trying to do as little revision as humanely possible. Big changes were on the horizon. We were to move back to England and I was to start my life as a college student. I tried to cram as much of Kenya life as I could into those short few months of the summer. I was sad at leaving all my friends but excited at the possibilities this new life held. I could go shopping. Go the the pub. Buy new music. I wouldn’t have to rely on 3 month old “Just Seventeen” magazines to tell me what was hot and what was not. I was leaving a land where the sun always seemed to shine, I was slim, I had freedom and I didn’t have to worry about money. 10 years on and I’m still here, enjoying my life in England but always yearning for the Kenya of my youth.

5 snacks I enjoy:

- Stilton
- Those Penn State sour cream and whatsit pretzels. Sadly scarce in London town
- Occasional craving for pork pie and homemade chutney
- I don’t know if roast lamb counts as a snack but hell, it’s my blog, I’ll write what I like
- Port

Things I would do if I were a billionaire?

The sensible side of me thinks I’d chuck it into a high rate savings account and live off the interest

The normal side of me says I’d buy a house, move out to the country and *keep* N and my family for the rest of our days

Oh, and donate money to the rugby club so they can do the work they need to on the clubhouse

And give a little bit each month to selected charities that I care about

5 jobs I have had:

Till tart at Somerfields – Yes, I too wore that beautiful green and white striped uniform. Perched on an uncomfortable chair I kept up the pretence that I was a little bit dim. The embarrassment of having to shout “alcohol” whenever anyone wanted to purchase a bottle of wine. The tuts from angry customers when the cucumber didn’t swipe and I’d have to punch in the code. Sleazy managers, cute shelve stackers. All for £2.40 an hour.

Recruitment consultant – I was the worst consultant in the world. I don’t think I made any commission in 8 months. In the swing door world of recruitment I’m still amazed that they kept me on so long. Maybe they just thought I was nice.

Babysitter – “Hey, nuttycow, fancy looking after the kids for us while we’re in France?” “Yeah, alright”. Best job I ever took. A 2 week holiday in France. All expenses paid. Plus a salary. Had to do a total of about 2 nights work. Love it.

Painter – Same family as above. Spent 2 weeks painting their stables. In the sunshine. Around the horses all day. With glasses of wine at the end.

Buxom barmaid – pulling pints (and punters) at University (didn’t everyone?). I worked in an awesome little bar in the back end of the town. Every Friday and Saturday night they had a live singer (Derek). It was tiny. About as wide as a normal bar is long. Huge wooden tables along the side of the room for dancing on. Sawdust on the floor. Free booze all night and plenty of banter. The ideal bar job.

3 bad habits:

Biting my nails: my excuse is that I have to keep them short for rugby

Saying what I think: gets me into more trouble than it should but I still think it’s a virtue rather than a vice

Procrastination: I’ll explain this later

5 places I have lived:

Nigeria – 0 to 2 years old. My earliest memories are of my nanny’s daughter, Peace and her sisters Charity and Friday. Swimming in our pool. Having a bath in a tub outside. Lizards.

Gibraltar - 2 to 4 years old. Living on top of the rock. Going over to Spain for everlasting meals. Eating ice-cream under the table of the restaurant. Nuns in the convent where I went to school.

Cyprus – 10 to 12 years old. Skiing in the morning, swimming in the afternoon. Days in “Happy Valley” riding. Going round the back of the stables and looking onto the roof to see the dead horses they had thrown up there for the birds.

Kenya - 12 to 16 years old. Having lessons outside in the sun, under the shade of a tree. Going down to the dam at lunchtime to see the crocodile. Pulling leeches off my legs before going back into class. Passing notes to friends out of the window.

Sussex – in between years. Walking the dogs across the ridge. Drunken nights in the local pub. Open fires. Climbing onto the roof of the office to sunbathe. Playing in the barn with the boys from the farm next door.

5 people I want to know more about:

Jordan – what makes this woman tick? She’s mad. Does she think that she looks good?

Ben Cohen – I think it’s my duty to get to know him… in a more personal way.

Stephen Fry – he interests me. I would like to have a good ol’ chinwag with a couple of bottles of wine and some cheese

My father’s mother – my father was adopted. I’d love to know who his mother was. What her reasons were and how her life has turned out.

My mother’s father – now sadly dead, I was always too young to understand when he talked about his experiences in the prisoner of war camp. If I could, I’d ask him to tell me about it now.

It is now my duty to brand tag someone else.

Reluctant Memsahib
Ollie @ Dayorama
Womble on Tour
Please Don’t Eat With Your Mouth Open
The Red Scrapbook