Have you had an accident at work…?

Anna over at little.red.boat (a cracking read by the way, much recommended) has recently had a rant about a large processed chicken fast food chain advert. Her justified anger made me angry just thinking about all those adverts which just make me scream at the screen. I figured the only way to purge myself of this anger and free myself to get on with some work was to rant. Uncontrollably. Forgive me.

The Advertising Hall of Shame (as voted for by a screaming nutty cow):

Picture the loan – A couple of things really annoy me about this advert. Leaving aside all the moral issues about advertising debt to people who are already in debt (Carol Vorderman, I’m talking to you here, too) consider the following. Why would you film your loved one on the phone when they were sorting out a consolidation loan? It’s not something you’re going to show the grandchildren, is it? “Look dear, this is when we got ourselves into more debt, just before we declared ourselves bankrupt!”. Secondly, the… “how much do you want to borrow? £25,000?” – the casual way in which this couple discuss their finances leads me feel that they shouldn’t have access to a piggy bank, let alone £25,000.

Frosties – “They might taste great/but they make me irate/Frosties adverts are something I really hate” the most annoying jingle in the last 20 years. Believe me, you’ll have it running through your head for the rest of the day. And while I’m at it… surely it’s just wrong to rhyme “great” with “pirate”?
PS. While searching for a suitable photo I found this article… tee hee.

Halifax – Somewhere in advertising land, a brainstorming session is underway. “I tell you what would be really great… an advert… with real people… singing real songs which we can amend to make them applicable to banking! What d’ya think of that?” “Great idea Bob!”. Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Bob, but it wasn’t a great idea. It was a shit idea. Banks are supposed to be trustworthy, have an air of gravitas. Would you trust your bank manager if you knew that two weeks ago he was prancing around in spandex singing a poor rendition of “We are sailing”, sorry “We are saving”? No, didn’t think so. Think of the children people.

DulcoEase – The first thing I do when I go out for lunch with my friends is talk to them about the trouble I’ve had trying to do a poo. Really, it is. And you know what, more often than not they just happen to have a handy pack of laxatives in their handbag. Aren’t girls just great?

Seriously, does this ever happen?

My handbag contents normally consist of a phone, keys, wallet, some cigarettes, possibly a lighter. On occasion I have makeup and even, more rarely, some paracetemol. I don’t think I’ve ever got ready for a night out and thought “Hmmm, better put some of these bad boys in. You know, just in case I have a strained moment.”

Hearing about the bowel movements of my closest friends is just not something I expect. Boys, I know, have an obsession with anything scatalogical. Us ladies, I think we’re a tad more refined.

Glade – Continuing with the poo theme (I’m starting to sound a little bit like ScaryDuck here) small child on loo shouting “it’s all gone, it’s all gone” (in a really badly dubbed “English” accent). 1. The offending “touch ‘n’ fresh is about 4 foot away. How did he discover it was empty? He must have shuffled over there. 2. Where did he get the pen and paper from? He must have shuffled around to find some – possibly in another room. 3. How did he manage to push it under the door without getting off the loo? He didn’t, he would have had to move. So, with all this movement, theoretically he could have got up, wiped arse, pulled trousers up, washed hands etc, and then changed the glade thing. But oh no, small child still couldn’t be bothered to change the glade thingy. Lazy child.

What’s annoying you today?

EDIT: Just had to go through that post and amend all the typos. Obviously my anger at these adverts has taken itself out on my typing.